In this day and age, it’s not about living longer, it’s about living better!
No matter where we are in life, there is always a desire for more and we often struggle with how to get what we’re looking for.
Most people believe that “hard work and doing it on your own” are the keys to the life, success or happiness that they seek and that a price must be paid to attain what they want, but it turns out too often, that this price is poor health, not having enough time to enjoy life, strained family relationships or lessened productivity.
Our life journey is a Marathon for which we need the same preparation as athletes do to potentially reach the finish line and achieve our life objectives.
Successful athletes know they need someone else, a trained professional to help them set goals, discover real needs, and work effectively toward ultimate excellence. A Life Coach does the same for you.
Therefore,when entertaining the prospect of being coached, ask yourself:
Are you doing what you most enjoy?
Are you tolerating anything?
Do you have what you most want?
While therapy focuses on the “WHY” aspect of things, deals with difficulties or dysfunction arising from the past, life coaching is an on-forward approach that focuses on creating actionable strategies for achieving future goals in life. Life coaching relies on concrete action, accountability and follow-through from the client.
- A life coach challenges you and takes the time to find out what winning in life means to you. He/she provides fresh perspectives on challenges and opportunities!
- A life coach is your partner in living the life you know you can accomplish, personally and professionally. Synergy between you and your coach truly creates the momentum!
- A life coach is someone to hold you accountable for your life, to make sure you really do live up to your potential. Better goals are set, ones that really pull you forward.
- A life coach helps you develop new skills based on your talents rather than your weaknesses and these skills translate into more success.
During the discovery session, the coach and the client will identify what they want to accomplish with coaching support. This dictates, to some extent, how often they might meet and how long coaching may last.
Let’s say that the client wants to change a bad habit like taking on too many things at once and getting overwhelmed, as one of his first coaching goals.The coach would likely schedule weekly sessions to explore this habit, practice new behaviors to keep the person in balance, and replace the old behavior and related beliefs with more appropriate, empowering beliefs and actions. Sometimes, frequent mini sessions might be the right support system for building a new habit.
The coaching time frame would be somewhere between 3 months and 6 months to develop a sustainable new set of behaviors.
Coaches have learned that most goals take at least 3 months or more to realize, and for true growth and long-term change, it’s usually a 6 to 12 months commitment.
Coaching is not a magic pill or a quick fix: If you really want something different in your life, then you need to be willing to do to do what it takes and commit the time.
Your life coach isn’t your teacher or your parent (no scolding, no frowning!) and your progress is solely dependent on the effort you put in the matter. You must be committed to taking the necessary moves towards your goals. Accepting to try on new things, new ways of thinking and/or behaving (even if it feels uncomfortable) is a necessary step to changing your life for the better and opening new doors.
You are the expert in your life and your life coach is your unconditional supporter and your cheerleader!
An ADHD coach is educated about ADHD, its traits and symptoms, as well as common accompanying challenges (learning differences, social skills weaknesses, dyslexia…)
An ADHD coach is also trained in specific tools, strategies and systems designed to support someone with ADHD traits.
An ADHD coach works from an understanding of how ADHD related challenges show up and impact each person differently.
He/she coaches from that framework (that’s why it’s important to be sure you’re hiring a trained ADHD coach).
An ADHD coach often works in conjunction with other members of your support team (parents, caregivers,teachers, therapists, physicians, psychiatrists, counselors…)
An ADHD coach can and may serve as an educator to help you understand how ADHD is impacting your life as well as an advocate with you (at school, college or with other family members…)
ADHD coaches work with their clients specifically on building systems, habits and rituals to make their daily life easier and more fun.
ADHD coaching involves understanding how ADHD impacts our lives.
ADHD coaches come from a view that individuals impacted by ADHD symptoms have many strengths and gifts which they want to draw out and appreciate: Therefore, they will focus regularly on what the client does well and how to amplify that. They want the person not to forever focus on their weak areas.
ADHD coaching also includes identifying and building a great support system: While we want to be responsible for our lives, that doesn’t mean we have to do everything ourselves.
ADHD coaches will also help you design an environment that pulls you quickly towards success.
A family coach is a partner, a neutral 3rd party who helps the family and/or individuals identify their goals and help establish new routines and behaviors that help them achieve positive change, improve dynamics between members as well as continue to get on-going results.
A family coach takes into consideration the family’s structure, routines and values, to co-create a system that is adapted, coherent and sustainable for each member (children or adults).
This is what having ADHD can feel like…
“Imagine trying to thread a needle in low light while sitting in a rowboat in the ocean… The waves are tossing and rolling all the time. The amount of concentration required to thread that needle makes you anxious, tense and irritable… as if somebody were asking you questions as you were trying to thread that needle. Then imagine threading that needle for 30mn… then accidentally dropping the needle overboard”- Dr Joseph Carver.
The ADHD mind is a vast and unorganized library. It contains masses of info, in snippets, but not whole books. The info exists in many forms — as articles, videos, audio clips, Internet pages. But there’s no card catalog. Each person with ADHD has his or her own way of storing that huge amount of material. Important items have no fixed place, and might as well be invisible or missing entirely.
It is important that children don’t feel labeled or suffer from the stigma of learning or behaving differently. Adopt the right language:
- “You have a Ferrari brain with bicycle brakes. It has a tendency to race and not stop in time.We just have to strengthen (or oil) the brakes” – Dr Edward Hallowell
- “Passion, fun and laughing are the fuel that ignites your amazing engine. With the adapted support you will be given, you will find that you’re able to pull the brakes when needed and be more in control of your engine’s speed and direction.”
- “Just because your brain works differently doesn’t mean you are broken. It means you have a unique and interesting brain wiring that works really well when you understand it. You do things in your own unique way (those are your Superpowers!) Therefore, to finish the race with your Ferrari brain, you might take a different route than the others do.”
Psychostimulants (that are prescribed by your physician after a formal diagnosis) are the sort of medication that can stimulate Dopamine transmitters and put you on a level playing field. As your brain gets stimulated, it slows down and you can focus more.However, these medications won’t teach you the skills (planning,organization, self-regulation…) but an ADHD Coach will.
Your brain is a Dopamine detective: It is always scanning for stimuli and
rewards because that will release brain chemicals (like Dopamine) that will allow it to be interested and focus more. Therefore, when there just aren’t enough stimuli (the task or situation is not fun, exciting, new or interesting) your brain will start looking for Dopamine elsewhere in order to motivate it to continue the required behavior. Sometimes, your brain might do that by fighting (because fighting stimulates the brain).
Observe when you are focused and when you are not:
“What ignites your brain?”
“What is fun?”
“What creates high levels of interest for you?”
“Where do you feel motivated?”
Positive Intelligence is a set of mental skills that allows a person to operate from the part of their brain that serves them in their interactions, performance and well being and quiet the part of their brain that sabotages them by making them experience feelings of doubt, anger, frustration whenever they are getting into action. Positive Intelligence is not pre-set or fixed and can be developed throughout your life. Research has shown the positive impact and life-changing outcomes of growing Positive Intelligence through Mental Fitness Coaching.
Mental Fitness Coaching allows a client to strengthen the positive frequencies of their brain, those that ignite positive emotions such as motivation, empathy, curiosity, creativity when undertaking actions. This practice has proven to alter drastically the outcome as well as the mindset and wellbeing of the person, allowing them to design their decisions from a positive perspective rather than allowing their “Saboteurs” to undermine and defeat them. The term “Mental Fitness” relates to the fact that this “reframing and reprogramming” takes repetition and habit building through specific coaching exercises, just as if you were building a muscle through fitness training.
A Coach NEVER gives advice to clients but will, through powerful questions and exercises stir the conversation towards more clarity and action taking. However, if you are questioning yourself about paths to take or options to decide from, when you lack knowledge in certain fields or areas, turning to a Consultant who is seasoned in these matters may allow you to get the information and support that you need.
A Coaching session is a structured conversation between a coach and their client where they work on progressing towards the objectives set by the client. During a coaching session, the coach asks powerful and thought provoking questions that will allow their clients to self reflect around challenges and undertake actions in their lives.
In a training session, the trainer is delivering tools and strategies to allow participants to build knowledge and gain some practice in certain areas of their lives. It is a time for experiential learning and mastering new methods. Participants walk out of a training session with acquired knowledge and new skills they have worked and trained on.
Although there are many Youth Coaches who coach children (usually as of the age of 8) with great results, including parents in the process will allow for more alignment in the way rules and structure are laid, thus creating a more harmonious environment where challenges are addressed from the same perspective. Parents often need support to be able to understand, deal and communicate with their children. Parental Coaching can help them convey their messages in a more powerful and constructive way.
Embarking in coaching takes commitment and courage as a person who decides to hire a coach is a person who wants to actively address issues and challenges. Therefore, choosing a coach needs to be a rational decision based on solid criteria. During the discovery session, the potential client will have the opportunity to ask relevant questions to decide if they are a match.
Here are some important points to take into consideration:
- Find out about their educational background and professional experience as a coach ( diplomas, certifications, companies or organizations they have worked with…)
- Ask about their experience coaching similar clients or cases as yours.
- Beware of a coach who gives advice or promises to solve your problems. YOU are the one holding the agenda and YOU are the person holding the solution. A coach helps you move forward and materialize your objectives.
- Coaching is confidential and a coach should never breach this confidentiality by talking about clients that are identifiable or naming them.
It’s your attitude, not your aptitude, that determines your altitude.